well, looking back at those 3-4 weeks that has passed i think I’ve been screwed all the way around. Lost faith, belief, strength and all kinds of those good feelings you’re supposed to have. At least at minimum level. Now, when I’m ok to some point, I’m questioning myself, how could I let this happen? People are so shallow, so am I. I’m one of them in the end, willingly or not.
Waking up in the morning’s been a nightmare for me, going to bed at night was a torture. Going through all day long was a constant fight with tears welling up in my eyes and gritted teeth, not spoken words vanished in an emptiness I created in my mind. It was painful. And I do now I will face those days again and again, till my body turns to ashes (whatsoever).
I know life is a fight, but was is it that hard? I don’t know. I’m afraid of the answer so maybe it’s better to live my life without this knowledge. It might break me down.
Giving my all best, I’m waking up and facing every tomorrow. Because I have to. This will always be the only one sure thing I’ll always have left. Me and my space.
And so here I am~